About -- Beijing company today is the last day for I hate my partners 2013. Contests. As you know will call your name right now in this the last name will be calling the call back in 93 minutes at 6449875. You win the preliminary prize -- apprentice super tune up from -- heating and air conditioning is valued at a 189 dollars general on this rules apply. He'll also qualified to win the grand prizes to be announced next week. In the I hit my first -- thirteen that's a xenon thirteen -- hybrid system furnace and air conditioning system valued at 5000. 125. Blocks and the name is in the name for this hour is Carol Hartwig HA RT WIG in ransom bill. Carol Hartwig and ransom note you are the last name we will call on the contest. I'd get over yourself Patti Novak you've seen Patti Novak on television senator -- Oprah is seen her on The Today Show. You've both seen her run. And any any certainly. And there she is available to put impersonate in person being together that try and -- find the perfect match. If you would like goat more information. A you can call 6948585. You can also call loss on the air. It all three on 301061692. Through six and start 930 the fact why don't we take your call to start this hour services at the knees. In Niagara Falls and he's here on with -- and sandy beach when you have force today. I heard that this kind of talent and I think I'm you're getting now that. It was excellent from -- wonder I Ayers met the love of my life and I'm getting married and not get. -- -- That's wonderful congratulations. That is so nice. Deleted kindred done some professional. On -- there's no way I would ever met this guy Greg had got her. It's -- when the first time you met the man you gonna marry. Oh -- your little nervous. Well if you butterflies error how does that work -- -- actually. Needed gently just. Like we hit it it's under GAAP. -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- Out here. At me. Which. Let your round. So let them and -- you know he can. I can. Him on the shoulder ankle or my amount and the it's great to. Me what -- had gotten out. All so -- so your advice then is the secret to a good marriages good parking is that it. Make sure you call me at the office I can get the deet tails OK yes we wish you all the grass we wish you the best today. You know why it was so wonderful it was. If I didn't try to do it again I would continue with that it was wonderful I I would recommend and. Well wherever we're very happy you found the right person thank you and thank you for calling that's always good answer I wonder saw a satisfied. Client right there. We're talking to Patti Novak I was looking at the dust cover of your book get over yourself. And one of the things you say is learn the do's and don'ts of the first day. The second date and beyond remember it's not a job interview -- I disagree on this I think this. Job well that's why don't want to sitting across counted I counted -- -- -- -- to the prior okay and may get first date we are not forced and that is very and yelling for -- by the way were -- sitting across and -- used to you know it isn't an interview first of -- none of -- is any of your business. I'm gonna give you the information that I think you need to -- to have a first day. Okay -- preliminary OK it's likely don't get the suitcase with a nuclear codes and you don't get to have a radio show either Thursday. But we will ask -- you know it used to be. That people only -- it places like bars and things like that now just on the relationship aspect of it. I that we I've seen a million times a good place to meet women of your guy is in the supermarket. You know and at this -- there's no threat in the supermarket nobody's ugly looking for women in the supermarket. I just -- the market over the oranges and apples and what you gonna ask the guys can ask. -- and grocery shopping if I was single and Trisha I wouldn't you wouldn't know what I would I would like -- -- I was shocked again -- I wanna get out. TU paddy and I said we're cigarette tops and I got -- I got my wagon here. I analysts here and I'm looking for a sweet potato what's the difference between this sweet potato when he damn. -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- You say hey column management. So where are good meetingplace. I think chance meeting certainly can happen that's that -- -- -- across the store are bumping and it's a bump into somebody I think -- with it if it's a chance meeting. I think in some ways that's what everybody hopes for that it's a more natural process however. Once you -- college years in your in your career meeting new people every day -- Buffalo, New York. We are clicking here we have family we -- friends we extend cousins. And and we open our door to new people here easily a stroke we keep it nice and sweet neighborly amongst each other get me wrong. But I think that that. -- -- as a holiday eight tip when you're you're getting invited to parties don't act go to their party. Go up there be social don't stop thinking about dating. Just because of how he -- -- and -- chance meetings ideal my theory and the ark quite frankly -- sure when those non drinkers at the bar. It if I limit the argument well even. I mean. And the point is like I don't drink so I don't drink and -- in the past -- worm. -- place to meet people and now that's different now we have social media. Which -- gives us a lot more opportunity but a lot more dangers as well. I think I I actually was telling you and break that I wrote. The in my -- -- -- I wrote a whole chapter in her to understand it's part of the world today that your going anywhere. Other than there are ways to do it and stay safe. Being number one other ways to do it we here at. Talking on the cell phone. Four hours or months at -- time for you physically eat. Because it's -- People communication communication -- exactly what's voice. Speaking that hey folks your -- they're eating all texting. An effort that would be a bit because -- any of you. Misunderstood. Now your opinions and her eyes she's organ and it is your thumbs -- around nominee on the last -- each other rider oh. I want you text each of the first five dates -- -- strikingly it's not to do now. Don't I can't find apart and she gets taxed yeah. It should be. Human to human or not that's OK I won't come back we'll talk more if you have any questions you'd like to ask Betty 694 6948585. Would set her up with you for his -- if you wanna talk to her on the radio -- 030930180616926. -- -- yeah her -- -- by the -- what can get this -- get over yourself. I am sent or Amazon has our ideas and my web site Patti Novak Jack and you can also. Go through the website now an in house. When I when I read when I read that sometimes you school client. I'm going to -- in a minute until I saw your -- coverages in the book or is that not a dominant woman you are there in a leather jacket. You're looking over your glasses like c'mon. I've heard that a million times and your -- Arms are fooled that this is Apollo. It's. The mother and if that is stuff. And you better have your act together if you're dealing would that help. I'm very Catholic insensitive. It will be back tomorrow beach company under his radio 930. We know -- -- No back if you enjoyed seeing her series on a unique and maybe you've seen her on Oprah -- The Today Show or you have her book if you don't have a book. Go to Amazon and get her book but it doesn't get easier than that is called get over yourself. How to get real get serious and get ready to find true love -- matches people up and and of course. People have been doing this for years and years and years before -- and -- known as your rants. Yeah yeah. -- you're at all. Just professions and world isn't making that is how I got to have right guy for your -- on the right woman I work Rivera yet he versions -- -- People have a need to fix people up there is an eight. A but some people need assistance in meeting people and meeting the right people and they wanna make it right so. Example for the and is second time around her single mom or single dad taking care of the kids that found men are sound women -- your children team back to. They're shopping for three not one when you're out there looking for special woman and they have two children. It matters to those children as much as it matters to them and that it's the right one point that you does have a valid driver's license. That you didn't just filed bankruptcy yesterday that she did she is clearly divorced and ready to move forward. All of things that you don't know. When you're in the bar scene. And quite frankly as you were talking before whether it be FaceBook. The Internet dating sites all those I think there's ways for to be successful. I think it's you have to be very careful. But I think that building false. Voyeuristic chemistry on the Internet or an -- cell. It is always disappointing almost always if you meet somebody on the Internet FaceBook or are now one of the students that don't wait three months to meet them. Don't have fifteen conversations meet them. Havoc Havoc in a busy busy place haven't -- naked lunch or dinner going to have a drink drink 7UP be Smart. And go it's to get to know that person you're not wasting them two or three month. Doesn't appoint -- simply because some people are good at some thing and bad and others they may not be good -- -- personal relationships and communication. But they may be -- what is on the computer and and this and that and that these seem like a different person. Then if you do away a long period of time you might be religious. -- we have these this modem muscles problem you know everybody has that the muscles in the intestinal fortitude behind me. Behind that there's they're iPhone or they're left top. You could say you can be anything or anybody wanna be behind the computer and isn't there are some thing to be said for wanting another words. At having a 100%. 24 hours -- -- accesses somebody else by texting -- it doesn't matter what or under any circumstances you can instantly go somebody express that thought. I wonder about absence makes the heart grow -- there. Like that they're forced. To yeah I. Know my phone for any given day that are for a story. -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- Well I was TV. To change its -- Now I don't really did and so it's necessary but it is part. Now this is so important and I I I can't stress it enough via I should -- waited this long to bring it up but. Okay you found the person you think is the perfect person and you are thinking grandiose thoughts this is that this is the right guard this is the right woman forming. Just remember one thing when you do get together with them you not only get them you get their family. And sometimes you really like them but their family and saw but. But -- every Thanksgiving every Christmas every birthday every Bob Bob Bob Bob up here altogether and you find you. You you found she or he was the perfect person. But and you do not want to be involved a family how much should the family be a consideration when you're thinking of the right person -- I think first talked a great question this time a year so if she just met somebody on to go to Thanksgiving dinner audiences now. You're leading. Christmas and Thanksgiving needing to share as far as being filming -- I think it is important. So if you have children and your deep into your extended family. And the other person is not I think conversation. Ten deep down the road should be should be had between the two -- -- what your expectations. Where is my family my family is my daughter. My husband's daughter and husband and I have extended but that's my family unit that's who comes first. And I think if we did more of that. And I think that would be that's divorce because the. Would put a legal fight over. They afraid of money money they are a family now and if they are raising her kids I would say those -- -- How to raise the -- absolutely. Well you know it's it's amazing as you're going through via the the relationship -- what's important GO oftentimes you said one of the deal breakers could be. If either of you neither of you have children when you wanna have children or not and probably how they'll be raised. In in what religion or will they be raised without religion. These are really heavy heavy things to discuss how far down on the dating. Scale should they be before you get into. I'd say ten dates down the road which mandates which could take a couple of months you know to -- ten dates -- is busy lives. Accessed using them on there. Think ten dates down the road and my husband and I there was a three month Smart I was starting to come -- with him I knew it. So I -- mountain sits on the few things I need to tell you know OK and I think that and we were really honest with each other we are smarter we're a little older. Which is why I think it's actually my generation we need to get married so important so do we have her sit down and it probably took three months and it was right around ten to twelve day. How -- -- clients. We don't have the mentioning you know obviously. But just from your own experience how many of them would you call superficial and how many of you would you call non superficial when I say supervision shall I mean OK we've got these and here's four guys or this one's good looking I'd be interested in him. Nobody's going to come up and look at for pictures and all does this one is -- -- a good dancer who is this one like to go to Disney yet. Interesting because. Because. -- Ask them now. Six and -- I -- ten. Mocha on you think. And if if she'd. Act and a -- Sitting at the maker. That's. Close enough she showed a picture one in the magazine. It's a problem. -- -- already married that was. Margaret and here's how do we have an air personality here who looks like. And he's not married so it's not your readers obligation OK do we come back. Patti Novak says get over yourself she is a matchmaker she put people together. She happens the -- you from buffalo but you've -- are on the national stage you've seen -- Oprah's couch you've seen there with an eye shadow about -- hours hairpiece. And she had any series so she knows from what she speaks it will be back -- after this. You're hearing the voice of an awful lot WDN. Call us now an 8030930. Cell calls are free and star 930 -- toll free line is 180616. 9236. Back as well as -- and -- -- -- kind of find their relationship. You don't know exactly where to go -- how to proceed. And that's what she does that's what she does for a -- there's a book out. Which you can get from Amazon and get over yourself by Patti Novak out of get real good series you're ready to find true love. She's also on national TV all the time. In the buffalo number 6948585. In the the name of your company that is buffalo Niagara introduction introductions they get a chance to meet somebody let's go to bill. Who's holding from block port built Iran WB and with paddy. Thank you good morning regularly as well -- -- -- She's never been married to kid and he. Taking the bad guys. She's a relationship that she's been seriously. And physically or mentally or emotionally abused. Yet isn't it terrible ballots one at a two women -- fall victim. To some sort of narcissism and I think that. Herself -- in her self -- and her self respect is likely. And tormented by all these abusive situations. I think first of buffalo had a lot of great therapists. That's a good start. Actually my book you know you have to -- demons you only have to do it wants you to have to face them and I think there's things that you don't know as a parent. Her parents unfortunately we as parents I'm a parent I get it. I'm actually my daughters are really -- picker to at times. So you know I think we it's one added to women why is that I suggest tightly that he never come in and -- sit down with me and I can help you understand what it is to look for why she's white she's in and what's likely she's repeating. Yeah because -- -- they've got issues currently living it and he's already been in jail tree died on. Any. You know in that light is pretty -- -- Allen would be W I got three dollars I'm. I mean it's just and we've called the police now. I'm. I'm. And gotten it yet and market -- kids they're saying that he's being abusive but she keeps saying that got things going and it just. We just. We're just an outlet that it was. Who aren't so heartbreaking and so so -- -- going through this that makes me just. You know get this feeling in my stomach I really think that that it starts with her down you know I mean it starts on -- -- with her. And even if you -- driver and a terror and bring yourself. I think she has to be aware that that her children could be taken from her. From point. In -- -- and I just said Diller I don't even listen to the whole show. But I talked about when a woman has children -- man coming up for that matter you're picking for two or three -- -- known to be carefully -- Home. It's and it's a tough spot bill because they don't want you to pick forum. You're looking out for their best interest but they don't always see that and. Happens at 6948585. O'clock bell over the next couple days and sure you back and then you and I can't further discussion. I thank your bills 694. Guys 6948585. Yeah I mean that's very divert all that was on my list of things. In my notes -- women's stay with a abusers. I can't figure that out is there a dependency thing or they think the he's abusive but I can deal -- this and at least I know what I have. An enabling nurturing. Which I think it's why it's one at a two women -- god made us nurturing and it's bearing children and you know we -- different remain differently than men. And I think that that's that that we are nurtures -- serves. I'm writing that down where me differently than men did you know that Tony. I did not tell us that -- that's why she is a blocked out I'm telling you're you're on -- of it now Ronald Reagan once said trust. But verified. And got -- this. This my husband recently changed all of his passwords. FaceBook email voicemail. I don't ought to be accusatory. But I'm a little suspicious our relationship is great -- no major on usual problems is that something I should be concerned about. -- my letting my crazy imagination get the best. Well I think that concern is fair I think that the way she approaches her husband is mark even more important. Hey honey you know I'm really comfortable with all of us with you and I having each other's passwords -- -- change -- maybe it's because of worker what are the -- -- but can have a new password. I think that that just makes me feel more comfortable if if then his response is indifferent or indignant. Then you know where it's a course of a different color and there's bigger problems than you think. So it is the trust but verify. Ronald -- the Smart guy -- this what when you -- when you put two people together. And they come back here or they give you the feedback on that first Dayton and the second one they get to a point do they get far enough down the line. Where they ask for your opinion as to whether they would be a good permanent couple hours at a decision -- They make on their own would. Because you've set him on the right path. What -- they had the first two dates and they -- each other to see each other for a third day in and cut them loose with each other there's so getting matched. With other people both of these people that were talking about and the young woman. No simmered between six and twelve dates you know are obviously sacks as we talked about today I don't know when -- at three months of the two months it's an individual choices at six months. You -- to plant where you want to sleep with someone it's time to call exclusive you know because casual dating the only thing that's not a lot of sacks you can kiss you can -- holding hands. But you can't have sex and be multiple game. There are bad. That. You are not real humble. I -- And picture is this a picture of your daughter bringing a guy home. To meet you and you're looking like recover your book. Our flag I -- -- -- And I know you'll look fine. But I'm not trying to that your daughter there it makes a big difference. But is one imposing woman and that's that's I think that's a good thing and that's why you're where you are. Feature. You look back and principled and a lot of integrity will be back with the -- Novak Coolio won more segment -- that in the movie show returns today well that'll be 11 o'clock was an above on news radio 930. We are back with Patti Novak. I -- you know back in is called America's toughest match maker. On love relationships -- in the book is called get over yourself it's on -- It's as it's available on Amazon you've seen her on TV with the Oprah. You've seen with the Rachael Ray you see her all over the place on The Today Show and now she's here because she's from buffalo. And if you would like to contact her in buffalo our company's number 6948585. 6948585. If you wanna check our website go -- who have Patti Novak dot com. An email would go to I'm Patti Novak and that's PA TGI by the way. I Gmail so -- that now -- one thing. All right because this is -- and this is important to me this is one of those questions. It -- and you say this man is the height of masculinity. He is dripping with testosterone. Yeah I have something I want to confess if I were your client I would have to tell -- this. The my favorite movie which I get -- law. Problems with -- these -- broad so across the glass here is somewhere in time -- -- sensitive. Romantic kind of man. Is that up is that a positive thing about it or climb coming view looking or some help an absolutely I. Expansion over the age of forty women at least. Thank you well. Thank you -- Now I'm not trying to trick you. And I'm not trying to shock you -- are just interested if this is true. Do any of your clients approach you for a same sex relationship which is now legal and in marriage even in like eleventh. You know again I've had several calls over the years unfortunately I I try to get help company. Magazines. Here in Buffalo, New York to help me promote the the gay and lesbian side. And he did not -- help me. And I really found that the marketing for their side was so difficult so challenging. It's about that they think they say 10% of any market out of the closet. It's an answer a lot of more different challenges in big tradition isn't the problem as -- you know the problem is reaching. Tel. And straight people listen to this it's absolutely in an and I just think that laws. That I have to run a business. Doesn't allow you to two separate company is top all right -- not a knock out -- by the way it over the years that there's a need. Okay what are the things I have a mushy here is something that's important. I've been of this is that I didn't practice I'd been this is a letter -- letters from Anemia nobody writes a letter and and write a letter anymore and now. I've been participating in a friends with the benefits. -- Relationship for the last couple of years I recently started dating someone and it looks like it has the potential to go somewhere. But I'm having a really hard time breaking off the casual sex relationship. I'm wondering if there might be more hard to the casual relationship but I thought I'm really confused helped me and what kind of advice would you give that person. Actually I would say that Friends With Benefits is not healthy if it starts from the government like that and there. I think that you shouldn't sleep with anybody you don't have dinner. I think you get it's we we we we we. About that wouldn't cut on the -- -- you have ever -- -- I just think it's not a healthy place for women. Perhaps men can do it more comfortably -- -- doing for centuries but women were more emotional. Our orgasms are more emotional and you want you have more about it in the value system on that you want to feel something not just the accidents in -- as long as you have -- -- -- I would say to her and I I said people on my and that's you don't get to probably call can be here okay service -- you clean up hurting your life. And and then come to me. All right oh so that's a good sound advice now I I have to ask you about this. Because that we had a few guests that have been on -- Oprah and Oprah such an icon in it American culture. And anybody's opportunity I'm sure that it is equal to going on the tonight show with Johnny Carson getting your big break. Going on -- Oprah with her enormous audience and and it's the Oprah. What kind of thoughts went through your head at what was your experience like when you were on with a present it was 45 minutes. Actually asked Catherine handled it here was the it girls she cannot for the first fifteen minutes at the talent 45 minutes and then the whole hour after show. I am the CBS part of the show was different than the the after hour where a -- excellent -- comfortable kicks after stilettos. And account becomes a real strong Q -- -- for the audience in the CBS part of the show. It was surreal. You know anybody that -- imagine. However I was nervous about thirteen seconds and then you boom boom and I went in in on her producers were fabulous producers kept saying to me. -- anything she's gonna talk about is Ari you're not good so don't go out there feel it's secure and comfortable because. You know which you know and and and it's gonna come out. Because you are having your -- -- right so they wrapped me purpose -- -- -- they -- me and I also. I think that Oprah's energy. She knows what she's doing she's strong which she does. And I think that topic of relationships and dating should not confessions from speaker which is how she found me. She thought it was real genuine because the buffalo people are real and genuine -- and that too is based on -- big to a pre interview before you -- You know they -- our interview with the gentleman who can't. Remember his name. They did a phone interview from actually hours in the -- before I did show in. She's actually -- -- applications. Shoot and Nashville Tennessee which is her hometown. So I didn't I'm location -- January. And that then a week after I did on location issue she flew to Chicago rely on some nights and that had to be that had to be. Protect it will -- in -- not tell you what on how my husband desperately sick it's bad for that decade at the omni hotel -- -- -- people. After the show was over an hour 45 minutes I was tired and lighting Saratoga. I was like grant. Some. Other sisters cannot go out here and tired and -- doesn't feel good. An -- stopped me and said c'mon let's take pictures. And six weeks -- -- later in my office -- hole below the picture she was good to me. Nice it's nice when you hear about the big stars and and that treat people nicely. But a lot of times it's definitely nice to -- can't tell the hospital staff. Tell us about your daughter Jessica yours she's doing this and -- -- -- doing wonderful suit and it's round out there. That's things like that -- and -- that I've done she's actually. Work. Aren't. They have a feel for that you kind of know because it's not it's not a number thing it's not a digital thing it's a it's an emotional thing intangible comes from -- heart comes from -- I mean really. Yeah she would tell you not I have in my head. Well look and so she learned she learned from you. Was she always -- and that sort of humble together I don't think she thought she -- she start with -- so young. But now that she's currently -- its. I think that she's growing into it and doing very well I'll tell you why you want young lone star. I was I was -- and then -- at all. Well. So so she started young's situation is -- the problem solver and with during high school school where her -- counter and ask her questions and so I guess it just seems to be stepping -- -- People take great pride in in matching up to people usually they do it informally and it's usually a family member it's nice to know they can reach out to someone like you who give -- straight shot and given and not just a yes person. You can tell from this two hour interview you're not just the spurs and given the real advice if you want to know the answers doctor -- -- -- -- When I say this I wanna say that if you don't love you no one else well. Self finance self love that self worth and at self respect your energy will heal and civil drying. Well luckily I -- a problem -- months. I kinda that you are betting that block or gorilla you know you have any -- Being one of me doesn't have fun joke is across 69 or 8585. Is her number. 6948585. You want the book on Amazon. I get over yourself by patty PA TTI Novak. -- -- -- learn a lot from a middle of the covers yours. It varies from company. Energy I'd better she said we'll do a full two hours won't we. He has the problem. I -- -- Will be back tomorrow in Asia after it has.